A Letter To The One Grieving
Dear friend,
You are knit so tightly into my heart today, that I had to write you this letter. Perhaps you’re currently surrounded by people who love you, or maybe you’re sitting alone feeling the weight of your grief as it wraps itself around you. No matter where you are, who is with you, or how long it’s been since the one you love left, I want you to know that God sees you.
In fact, He saw you in this moment and this letter somehow found it’s way to you.
Recently I’ve been sitting next to someone who is experiencing a tragic and unexpected loss. I’ve spent the last 6 months searching for words that will bring her comfort, and everything seems to fall short. I have no doubt you’re feeling the same overwhelming feeling of loss that she is.
When we go through really difficult places in life, it’s hard to find a place in the Bible that relates exactly to your situation. Gosh, that’s been true for me in the past. But in this place of grief that you’re sitting, did you know that we have a powerful and beautiful reference point that we can draw some insight and strength from?
In John chapter 11, we see that a family who Jesus was especially close to. They were friends. One day the family calls Him to urgently come because one of their brother (Lazarus) has died.
I want you to see and draw strength from Jesus’s response to the death of His friend.
When He joined the grieving family, He saw Lazarus’s sister crying and it says this: “He was deeply moved in His spirit and greatly troubled”. You can almost miss it if you don’t dig for what’s buried here.
When it says that Jesus was “deeply moved”, that’s actually a classical Greek word that describes the snort of a war horse. For humans, it describes outrage, fury or anger.
Let me put it this way: Jesus is deeply angry at death.
They led Jesus to where they had buried the man, and it simply says this: “Jesus wept”. I find this ironic because Jesus could have healed their pain by bringing their brother back to life right there and then. Pain solved, joy resumes, and all is well.
But instead, rather than fixing it, Jesus chooses to feel it.
Rather than denying their pain, He joined them in their pain.
I sat today in the parking lot of my local Walmart and thought about you today.
The verse in Isaiah that says “comfort all who mourn” sprang to my mind. I sat there for a long time thinking about what does it truly mean to comfort someone when words aren’t enough? I did a word study on the original language of that text (I do this a lot) and found that it also means to sigh.
Maybe in these raw moments of your deepest grief you don’t need words. Maybe you just need someone to sit alongside you and sigh, and to feel the pain with you.
Maybe you need a friend who is “deeply moved”, who feels outrage over the injustice and how unfair it all seems.
Gosh, how I wish I could sit next to you and put my arm around you.
Here’s my consolation: I’m not there, but Jesus is.
Jesus is closer than you know. Even now, when it feels as if He’s far away, He’s closer than you can imagine and more importantly, He’s feeling the same things He felt at Lazarus’s tomb:
He’s angry at sin that brought on death.
He’s deeply moved by the injustice of it.
He’s outraged over your pain.
I know you’re expecting Him to just “fix it”, but he honors you, your pain, the memory of your loved one too much to just give you a band aid to block the pain.
Instead, He sits down next to you and feels the pain with you.
I hope you can find comfort that you’re not alone. My prayer for you today and will continue to be that you experience the Presence of the Lord next to you in a tangible way, that you will hear the sound of His voice and know Him intimately in a way that you never imagine. I’m also asking that He will wipe your tears, and in His perfect time, heal your broken heart.
If you’re in this place of raw grief, will you comment below or send me an email? I’d love to hear from you, hear about your loved one, what you love most about them, and what you’ll miss the most?
Know that I’m here and praying for you.
